Hail of Bullets
by Ms. Topaz
Summary: Natalie is packing up from her narrow-minded Michigan town to go to college in California with her best friend Ray. Everything is planned out. But when a handsome stranger messes up all of her plans, what will happen? Gerard/OC Rated M for language
1. Chapter 1

I wake up to a lump of white fur stretched out across my chest.

"Gah! Jezzie! Get off!" I wedge a couple of fingers underneath my baby and push. She flips over-right onto my stomach-and slides off of my bed, landing with a thump on her furry little butt. Yeah, that's my baby girl. Jezebel is the only cat in the world who never lands on her feet. She's only six months old, so hopefully she'll grow some coordination when she gets older. I turn over and flop back on my mountain of pillows, now realizing that they are covering in a fine layer of cat hair. God, I hate Mondays….

"Knock-knock!" A cheerful voice chirps from the other side of my door.

I roll onto my side and push myself up onto my elbows. "Come in."

An enormous amount of poofy auburn hair pokes its way through my doorway. "I come bearing good news and coffee!"

I rub my eyes. "Jesus, Ray. It's eight in the morning on a Monday. How the hell can you possibly be _that_ happy?" Ray might be my best friend, and we might be roomies, but sometimes living with a 'morning person' can be the most annoying thing in the world.

My best friend in the world sets a cup of steaming coffee on my nightstand and musses my hair. "Because like I said, I have good news. I also have lots of coffee in my system. But mostly good news."

I yawn sleepily. It's so fucking early. "It's too early to be this cheerful," I spit the word _cheerful_ out like an expletive, "but enlighten me anyways."

"I got our schedules and dorm assignments, Miss Holbrook."

Ooh…I take a giant gulp of coffee and order, "Gimme!"

"Now who's awake this early?" He teases. I glare at him, and he pretends to reel backwards in fright. "Okay. Here's your schedule." He dangles a piece of paper in front of my face, which I instantly grab at. He jerks it away. I try again and get a handful of air.

"_Raymond!_ Give me my damned schedule!"

"Fine, you schedule-slut. Here's the piece of paper."

I show him one of my fingers-I think you can guess which one-and scan my schedule.

"Cool!" I scream. "No classes before nine thirty, ever! Hell yeah!"

Ray groans. "Lucky. I have a class that starts at six forty-five! Even _I_ don't get up that early! But wait!" He jabs at my schedule. "Looky here! You have a night class one day a week. Art History…." He brushes his hair out of his eyes and grins at me. "God, Nat, isn't this cool? I mean, we're going to college in San Francisco! We're going to live in California!" He bounces up and down excitedly. "Maybe I'll meet someone! I mean, it's not like I've had much luck here …." He trails off, and his hair seems to droop. Ray's afro is a direct barometer of his mood; it seems to deflate when he's sad, and when's he's happy every single hair stands straight out from his head.

I reach for his hand and squeeze it tightly. Poor Ray. He's had such a hard time here in Alsberg, Michigan. Alsberg is kind of on the straight-and-narrow, with the emphasis on 'straight'. The one relationship he's had turned out horrendously…that's partially why we applied to San Francisco State. We applied other places too, but SF State was our first choice. For both of us. We wanted someplace on the West Coast, where the populace is a little more accepting of people who are 'out there' (wherever 'there' is. That's the term my annoyingly politically correct parents used to describe me when I decided to dye my hair pink and get a lip ring.).

"Hey…" I check Ray's schedule with my own. "We have the same dorm assignment! Isn't that against the rules?"

"Nope. I checked. Co-ed dorms for us!" He crows. "Maybe I'll meet a hot guy. Maybe he'll be our next door neighbor…."

"Shut up, you tramp!" I slap at him with a pillow. He's about to get me back when Jezebel ambles back into the room and jumps back up onto my bed, meowing loudly, demanding food. I pick her up around her chubby tummy-I really need to stop feeding her anchovies off of my pizza-and aim her at Ray. "Go, Jezebel! Attack! Go for the jugular!"

She purrs and bats Ray's nose with her paw.

"Wow, Jezebel." Ray snorts, rubbing her head, which makes her purring increase until she sound like a lawnmower. "Some attack-cat _you_ are."

"Oh, shut up." I roll my eyes and put my beloved kitty back on the bed. I swing my legs over the edge of my bed and get up, stretching my arms up over my bed.

After I finish my coffee I shuffle out to the kitchen/dining room/living room area. Ray and I share a small apartment in the only complex in town. Six Pines Apartments. I've lived here for almost five months and I haven't seen so much as a pinecone, but whatever. The point is that Ray and I share an apartment, finally away from our respective oppressive parents.

I sit at the table after pouring a bowlful of chicken-flavored Meow Mix for Jezzie. "What are we going to do with Jez when we go away?" I ask Ray.

He shrugs, his shoulders vanishing into his hair and says, "Hell if I know. Maybe the dorms allow pets. I haven't checked yet."

"I hope they do. I can't leave my baby behind. Can I, love-bug?" I coo at my kitty. She looks up from her bowl, flicks her tail, and goes back to inhaling small, fish-shaped kibble-bits.

"You know, maybe it would be better if she gets left behind." Ray offers. I raise my eyebrows.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean, what if she grows up to be abnormal because she's got two mommies?" He snickers.

I just roll my eyes again, but inside I'm glad Ray's comfortable with his sexuality. He struggled with coming to terms with it for years. We've been friends since we were seven, and ever since we were ten or eleven he's been battling between his heart and his head. It put such a strain on our friendship; everyone thought we were dating and he couldn't deny it without someone giving him the third degree. I'm just happy he's accepted being gay. It makes him happier and it makes everything else simpler.

"Please. She'll just grow up being the most spoiled kitty in the world." I scoop Jezebel up and rub her head with the tips of my fingers. She purrs and pushes her head against my hand, obviously wanting more attention. Jezebel is a people-cat. She loves attention.

Ray polishes off his coffee and stand up. "Well, I have to get to work. See you later." He kisses me on the forehead and kisses Jezzie on her nose. She promptly sneezes.

He pulls on a jacket and leaves, slamming the door behind him, as per usual.

"Well, Jez. I could sit here all day…" I say. Jezebel looks up and cocks her head, clearly saying that she would love that. "But I have to get ready for work too. The only record store in Alsberg can't function without me, you know." I stand up, Jezebel jumping off my lap and collapsing to the floor spread-eagled on her tummy.

"Good job, baby." I chuckle. I scoot around her and head to my room.

I throw on the first shirt I find hanging off the end of my bed, grab a pair of drainpipe jeans, slip on my favorite Chucks and smear some eyeliner around my eyes. I pronounce myself presentable to Jezebel, who meows. "Does that mean you agree or disagree?" I ask her. She hops off my bed and pads away to go do whatever. Thanks for the insight, Jez.

I blow a kiss to Jezebel (I know, I treat her like a person, and all the expert pet-people say you shouldn't do that, but whatever) and close and lock the door. I slide down the handrail to the bottom the way I do whenever nobody else is in the stairwell and head to my cramped Toyota Taurus.

I turn the key in the ignition, and after much prompting the old hunk of junk wheezes to life (barely). I turn the wheel, back out of my parking space and putter away to work.

XMXCXRX

I push open the door to the record store and walk in almost an hour late. The guy behind the counter looks up from a copy of the latest _Kerrang! _and opens his mouth.

"Not my fault, Alec." I wave my hand. "My car died."

"Whatever, it's not my problem Listen, Greg's in the bathroom puking up his intestinal tract. He's got a wicked hangover. I don't know why he decided to come into work, but at any rate, no incredibly loud music until his shift is over, okay?"

"Fine." There's not love lost between me and Alec, but I sit down behind the counter next to him anyway. I flip on the speakers and turn the stereo we've got hooked up to them on. I slip in a mix CD and turn the volume on low. Descending Angels by The Misfits rumbles out.

Alec and I work around each other, rearranging CDs that had been put out of place, changing promotional posters for newly released records, and helping the people (all of whom would be considered 'out there' by my parents) who walk through the doors. I also spent time behind the register when Alec had to go into the bathroom and help Greg clean up after he vomits up some more vital organs.

Greg calls weakly for Alec for the third time. Alec shoves himself off the counter and departs into the back room, grumbling. A minute or so later he comes back out, supporting a weak Greg beside him.

"I'm taking Greg home. I'll be back in a half an hour. Think you can manage?" Alec asks me. I nod, and once he's through the door with Greg I give him the good ol'-fashioned one-finger salute.

XMXCXRX

Twenty minutes I'm alternating between reading a book and watching the clock anxiously, waiting for it to hit twelve thirty so that I can take my break when the door opens. I look up briefly, then back toward my book. Then I do a double take.

Wow.

He's _gorgeous_.

He pushes his sunglasses further back on his head and looks around the store. He spots me at the register and heads my way.

I tuck my hair behind my ears and smile. "Hi. You need help with anything?"

"I might. Do you have the latest Smashing Pumpkins?" He flashes me a heart-stopping grin. I can't tell if it's calculated to turn my stomach into a pretzel or not, but it does exactly that.

"We do. It's over in the alt section. If you need help, just ask." I say, pointing to the alt/punk section of the store.

"Thank you." He says politely. I blush stupidly, and he turns and disappears into the rows and racks.

I watch him intently, praying that my hair looks decent and that my makeup isn't smudged. I bite my lip as he crouches down to examine a row at the bottom of a stand. His jeans fit perfectly, and…oh my God, I suddenly believe in a higher power. _That belongs in the Museum of Modern Art_, I think.

He finally selects something, stands up (much to my disappointment) and ambles back over to my spot. He slides a CD across the counter to me and bites his lip, just as I did minutes ago.

"_Zeitgeist_. Nice." I comment. "Not as good as the original Pumpkins. But pretty good."

He grins widely. "True. But a pretty good Pumpkins album is still damn better then most music out there."

"It's nice to find another Pumpkins fan. This town doesn't offer much of musical diversity…or tolerance. My band shirts stay in the closet until nighttime when the underground clubs in Detroit open." I laugh, handing him a receipt.

"That's unfortunate. I live in New Jersey, and music is practically worshipped in my town." He scribbles a signature in very neat, precise handwriting on the receipt.

"You're a lucky man."

"I'd be luckier if you agreed to have dinner with me sometime." He looks down suddenly at his receipt, his cheeks flushing slightly.

Excuse me?

I cough. "Um…yeah, sure!" I flounder for a moment with an idea, decide it's a bad idea and decide to say it anyway. "Actually, I get off in ten minutes for break. Can you substitute 'lunch' with 'dinner'?" Oh my God. I did not just use air quotes. Sweet holy mother of….Ray should never let me out of the apartment. I'm a hazard to myself and others.

"Absolutely. Know any good places to eat? I'm just a lowly city boy from Detroit, after all."

"Of course. I'm just a walking, talking guide book, waiting around record stores until mysterious strangers ask me out." I reply quickly.

He raises an eyebrow and smirks. "You're a spitfire, aren't you! Quite a poisonous mouth on you."

I shrug, like my acidic tongue just can't be helped. "They tell me it's a disease. Whoever 'they' are."

"Well, I hope it's untreatable, because I like it. I'll be back in ten minutes. See you later, Spitfire." He slides the receipt toward me, picks up his CD and leaves the store, slipping his sunglasses back on. He walks down the street, and I watch him until he disappears around the corner.

I look at the counter in a daze. Oh! The receipt! I stare at his name. Gerard Way. Hmm. Gerard…I match the name to the round eyes and black hair and hazel eyes. It fits him.

I notice something scrawled underneath his name. Holy crap! He wrote his number down too!

I have an apartment with my best friend away from my parents, I'm going away to college across the country in a month and I have a date with a mysterious stranger in about eight minutes. My life officially rocks.


	2. Chapter 2

My life officially sucks.

"Are you sure?" I whimper into the phone.

"Yeah, Nat. I'm…positive. Jezzie's dead."

I choke back a cry of anguish and instantly slap my hand over my mouth. Jezebel! "How?" I gasp.

"The vet said she ate some rat poison." Ray says quietly.

"Oh God!" I cry. I wipe away a couple of tears with the back of my hand. "Jezebel!"

Ray doesn't say anything for a long time. Then, finally: "Are you at work?"

"Yeah." I sniffle pathetically.

"I'll come get you, okay? I'll be there in five minutes. Love you, Nattie."

"You too." I miserably say. I hang up and sit behind the counter, wrapping my arms around my knees. My little Jezzie…gone. She was so cute and silly and she was only a baby and…now she's gone!

I burst into tears. I bury my face in my knees and sob. _I didn't cry this hard when my parents kicked me out of their house_, I think wildly. _Why am I crying this hard for a cat?!_

_Because, stupid!_ My conscience screams at me. _She was your baby! You loved her! And now she's dead because you left rat poison out!_

Oh, Jez. My little goofy kitty. My unbalanced love-bug. My adorable tiny baby.

God, look at me. I'm such a sap. Bawling over a cat.

But she's gone! My little baby Jezzie is _DEAD!_

I sit, curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out until Ray creeps through the door. He spots me and my tear-streaked face and rushes over to me.

I reach out to him like a little kid asking to get picked up, and he wraps his arms around me. I grab onto his shirtsleeves and cry harder, instantly soaking his T-shirt.

"Shh…" He whispers into my hair. "Calm down, Nattie. C'mon, Nat. Breathe."

"My cat is dead! How can I breathe when my baby is dead?!"

"I know she is, Nattie. I know. But the vet said that she probably didn't feel any pain. She didn't suffer."

I look up at him. "S-She didn't?"

"No. They said that she…ate so much that she probably got sleepy and just-she didn't wake up."

I slide my arms around his neck and press my face into his chest. "I feel awful. I killed her, Ray! I killed my Jezzie. I left out rat poison and she _ate_ it! I fucking killed Jezebel!"

Ray takes my face in his hands and stares at me. "Don't you say that! Never say that! You did not kill Jezebel, okay? Do you hear me? You didn't kill her! That rat poison was in the cupboard above the fridge! How the hell were we supposed to know she could jump up there and get into the box? You. Did. Not. Kill. Jezeb-"

The door opens, and I look over Ray's shoulder and gasp. Oh, shit. Gerard is standing just inside the door, sunglasses in hand, looking like he just crashed a funeral. Which, in a sick sort of way, he did.

"Um…bad time?" He asks quietly.

"What do you think?" Ray snaps. "Can you just lea-"

"Ray." I say softly.

"Yeah?"

"Don't." I disentangle myself from his arms, wipe the tears off my face and smile weakly at Gerard. "Hey."

"Hey. Do you still want to go out, or take a reign check, or…." He trails off helplessly, staring at me. God knows what I look like right now. Probably like the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

"No, I want to go. I just-I need a minute. I'll be back in a second. Ray, play nice." I stumble off to the bathrooms.

I push open the door and gasp as I see my reflection. My eyes are swollen, my cheeks are neon red, and my eyeliner is smeared almost to my chin. Oh my God….

I wash off the eyeliner with cold water, hoping the temperature will soothe me. I stand in front of the mirror for a minute until my cheeks return to their normal, pale tone. Then I reapply my makeup carefully and walk back out to the store.

Ray is reading Alec's copy of _Kerrang!_ and studiously ignoring Gerard, who looks both concerned and mildly amused. I roll my eyes. Glad to see Ray's being mature about this.

I slip my sunglasses on and smile at Gerard. "Okay. I'm ready. Let's go."

"Great." Gerard smiles.

I turn around. "Bye, Ray."

No answer.

"Goodbye, Ray."

Nothing.

"Raymond! Goodbye!" I look back at Gerard. "Ignore him. He's being immature."

"Obviously." He murmurs. He opens the door for me and I slip out into another hot Michigan afternoon.

We walk in silence for a while. I'm glad I brought my sunglasses because my eyes are red and everything seems to remind me of Jezebel. White fluffy clouds look like Jezzie's fur. Curving streets remind me of her wavy tail. An old woman walks by us with a sweater appliquéd with a cat on it in rhinestones and I nearly start crying again.

Finally Gerard breaks the silence. "You know, I don't even know your name."

My name. What's my name…? Oh, right. "Natalie Holbrook."

He stops in the middle of the street, takes my hand in his and kisses it. "Delighted to meet you, Miss Holbrook."

I blush, and for a second I forget I'm supposed to be sad. "And I, you, Mister Way." I do a sad imitation of a curtsy, which I'm sure looks ridiculous in my black and neon pink high-tops and jeans, but it makes him laugh anyway.

We resume walking, only Gerard doesn't let go of my hand. "So, um…do you mind if I ask what you were crying about when I waked in?" He asks gently.

I bite my lip and think for a second, debating how much I should tell him. I stop walking again and lean against the corner of a building, at the entrance of an alley. Gerard keeps walking and gets yanked back when I stop.

He takes my silence the wrong way. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I mean, if it was personal or something…" he says hurriedly.

"No, no." I blurt, sliding to the filthy ground of the alley. "It's just that…my cat died this morning. She was like my baby and...I just kind of lost it there in the store for a minute." Tears well up in my eyes again.

"Oh," Gerard whispers, sitting down next to me. "I'm so sorry. You really loved her, didn't you?"

I nod miserably. "I did. And so now I'm kind of miserable and…I'm ruining our date, aren't I?"

"Not at all," Gerard says firmly. "If someone you love dies you have every reason to be upset. I mean, not forever, but right now you are completely within your rights to cry and throw a fit. Publicly, if necessary."

I smile and laugh weakly through my tears. "Thanks, Gerard."

"No problem. Do you still feel like crying, or do you want to get out of this alleyway and keep walking?" He asks me, and I feel like if I answer either way he would be okay with it.

"I need to get out of this alleyway." I smile bleakly. He stands up and helps me do the same.

"Are you hungry?"

I realize with a jolt that I am. "Yeah, actually."

"Mourning does that to a person." He smiles. We start walking once again, my hand firmly clasped in his. "Do you know where you want to go to eat?"

I smile for real this time. "I know just the place."

I lead him to a small Italian restaurant, which is empty but open. I push open the door. The hostess looks up from a stack of menus. She recognizes me and her face lights up.

"Natalia! _Ciao, mia bella_!" She cries. She wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheeks loudly.

"_Ciao_, Ariana." I greet my friend.

"Who is this, _dulce_?" She looks up at Gerard, who smiles hesitantly.

"This is, um…this is my-oh, this is Gerard." I present him.

"Gerard del Natalia! Come conoscete il mio sorella-amico?" She blurts in Italian. _Natalie's Gerard! How do you know my sister-friend?_

I laugh. Ariana's exuberance takes some getting used to. Besides, I highly doubt Gerard speaks Italian.

"Ho comprato oggi un CD dal deposito della Natalia e gli ho chiesto di accompagnarlo ad una data." _I bought a CD in Natalie's store and asked her to accompany me on a date._

My eyes widen and I turn to look at Gerard. He blushes under my gaze and shrugs. "I'm half Italian."

Ariana beams and opens her mouth to reply (and probably embarrass me), and I quickly cut her off.

"Ari, could you seat us, please?"

"Ah, _si_, _si_! Follow me, please!" She winds around tables until she arrives at a booth near the open kitchen. We sit down obediently.

Ariana whisks off to the kitchen, babbling, "Mama! Come quickly...!"

Gerard holds my hand on top of the table. "Ariana is…very enthusiastic."

"I was thinking obnoxious, but close enough."

"How does she know you?" He asks me.

"Her mother baby-sat me when I was little. She would pick me up after school and watch me until my mother got home. Ariana and her siblings and I grew up together, and we're still really close."

"I can see that." Gerard says. He starts to say more, but a woman comes out of the kitchen, drying her hands on her skirt.

"Natalia!" She cries. She engulfs me in a massive hug. "Tesoro, non siete venuto a visitarli in un tempo molto molto!" _Darling, you have not visited me in a very long time!_

I smile sheepishly. "Spiacente, Mamma. Sono stato occupato. Funzionare, ottenendo pronto per l'istituto universitario… voi sapere." _Sorry, Mamma. I've been busy. Work, getting ready for college…you know._

"Have you been eating well, child? Ray is treating you well?" She cups my face in her hands.

"Si, Mamma, si." I assure her.

Gerard takes a drink from his water glass and smirks at me. I narrow my eyes at him. He coughs, trying to hide a laugh. Mamma turns around and eyes him, then smiles widely.

"Natalia! Who is this?"

"This is G-"

"I'm Natalie's friend Gerard." Gerard interrupts me.

I steel myself for the question I'm sure is to follow.

"Siete il suo ragazzo?" _Are you her boyfriend?_

Gerard smiles shyly at me and squeezes my hand. "Hopefully I will be soon."

I turn a violent shade of crimson, but squeeze Gerard's hand. Mamma coos in delight. She's convinced herself that since I've never really had a serious boyfriend I will end up as an old spinster, completely alone. Setting me up with many of her nephews has never been beneath her. She just about dies of excitement every time she sees me with a guy.

"I will leave you two alone now. Goodbye my dear." Mamma kisses me on both cheeks, then turns to Gerard and does the same. He kisses her back, much to my shock.

"B-bye, Mamma." I wheeze. She hugs me tightly then backs away to the kitchen. Probably so she can gossip about me with Ariana.

Gerard waits until they're out of sight, then asks, "You call her Mamma?"

"She's been a better mother to me then my actual mom." I say softly. "She actually loves me."

Gerard moves around the table and sits next to me, wrapping and arm around my shoulders. I hesitantly lean my head against his shoulder and sigh. Suddenly, I feel exhausted. I try to smother a yawn, but it doesn't fool Gerard.

"Tired?" He chuckles.

"Maybe." I retort sleepily.

Gerard laughs, hitting my cheekbone with his shoulder. I sit up slightly, and he seems to realize what happened. "Sorry." He rearranges himself, and I snuggle back up to him.

We sit for a long time, not talking much, until I finally succumb to the day's events and fall asleep.

XMXCXRX

I wake up in my room, my head on a pillow covered in Jezebel's fur. I grope around for a second, trying to find her. Then I remember.

"Jezzie…" I whimper. I grab a pillow and press my face into it, stifling my sniffling. Or, at least, I try to. It obviously isn't as effective as I think because a knock sounds on my door.

"Nattie? Can I come in?" Ray asks, then pushes open my door before I can reply.

He sees me sobbing into my pillow and rushes over and collapses on my bed. He holds me close, not offering words of comfort, which I appreciate. He's not telling me that it's going to be okay. He's not blowing smoke up my ass about her being in a better place. He's just letting me cry out all of my pain over my poor Jezebel.

By the time I'm finished crying, Ray's shoulder is drenched. I tear my head away from him and stare at his shoulder. "Oops. Sorry, Ray."

"Doesn't matter, Nat." He waves my concerns away.

"I miss her so much already, Ray." I whisper.

"Yeah," He says heavily. "I miss her too."

"Um…" I struggle to sit up. "How exactly did I get here?"

"Well, I was here eating during my lunch break when this incredibly loud pounding starts on the door. I open it, and Whatshisname is standing there, supporting a very exhausted you, prattling on about the Smashing Pumpkins and Italian food and Ariana and Jezebel, so I let him in and he puts you on your bed and then we make awkward small talk for a while until I finally kick him out because you need to rest, so he left and now I've been sitting around for almost three hours waiting for you to wake up."

I pause before answering to make sure Ray is done talking. "Did…did he say anything?"

"Who?"

"Gerard!"

"Oh. Um, he put his number into your phone. Said to call after you woke up."

"What? Ray! Why didn't you tell me earlier?!" I make a dive for my phone.

Ray gets a mulish look on his face. "Because you were crying your fucking eyes out over your dead cat, remember?" He snaps.

I drop the phone. Ray's eyes go wide. He just went too far, and he knows it.

"Nat-I'm…I'm sorry. I d-didn't mean it like that…" He babbles.

I bite the inside of my cheek. "It's fine, Ray. I just…I need to be alone right now, okay?"

He nods, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I really am sorry, Nat." With that, he leaves the room, shutting the door almost silently behind him.

I sit on my bed, clutching my pillow to me, until I remember that a certain, very adorable guy left me his number. I pick my phone up and scroll down my contacts list until I highlight Gerard's listing. I press the call button and wait.

"Hello?"

"Hi…Gerard?"

"Uh, no, this is his friend Frank. Who's this?"

"This is Gerard's, uh…" How to explain myself? "This is Natalie. Can you tell me where Gerard is?"

"Hold on a second." The guy named Frank apparently cups his hand over the phone and shouts, "Gerard!"

_What?_ A muffled voice in the background shouts back.

"Girl on the phone for you. Natalie. You know her?"

_Shit! Gimme the phone, Frank!_ Gerard sounds further away now.

"Natalie?" Frank asks into the phone. "Here's Gerard."

"Hello? Natalie?" He sounds out of breath.

"Gerard!" I say happily.

"Hey. How are you?" He asks me.

"Well, I'm not falling asleep in the middle of conversations anymore." I joke.

"Good." I can almost hear him smiling. "Listen, do you want to get some dinner with me this weekend? On Saturday? We can drive into Detroit and maybe go to an obscure club and see a band we've never heard of play."

I laugh. "That sounds great. And I promise not to fall asleep in the middle of dinner or the show."

He laughs too. "Perfect. Um…I'll call you later with details, okay?"

"That's fine. So does this mean I didn't scare you away with my sudden-onset narcolepsy or my explosive adopted Italian family or my crying?"

"Not a bit. I grew up in Jersey in a bad neighborhood with nothing to do but watch scary movies all the time. Nothing scares me." He boasts.

"Is that a challenge?" I tease.

"Maybe."

I giggle. "I'm taking you up on that."

We talk for a while longer, until Ray pokes his head in my bedroom. "Oh, good." He says. "You're still awake. Come on, I made your favorite."

"Gerard? Sorry, I have to go. See you this weekend, okay? Bye." I hang up and jump off the bed and hug Ray. "You made me your famous chili?"

"Extra-spicy. Just for you." He hugs me back. "I'll suffer a slow death by tongue incineration, but I'll consider it my penance for hurting your feelings."

Aww…"Thank you!" I kiss his cheek and sit excitedly at the table. Ray pours me a giant bowl of incredibly spicy chili, and I almost ignore my spoon in my eagerness to get the food to my mouth.

XMXCXRX

"Nattie?"

I roll over on the floor and look lazily at Ray. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I was acting stupid about Gerard earlier today. I was…I'm kind of jealous, that's all."

I get up on the couch and lean my head on his shoulder, looking up at him. "Why?"

"Because! You don't try finding a boyfriend and then this incredibly hot guy just falls right into your lap while I have been searching and fucking searching and I haven't found anyone! Life is fucking unfair! I'm going to fucking die alone!" He howls.

"Oh, honey…" I scoot over until I'm practically sitting in his lap. I lean forward until our foreheads are touching and grab his shoulders. "You're going to find someone, do you hear me? But you will find him when you aren't looking for him. You can't look for love. Life doesn't work that way."

Ray stops crying, but still sniffles into my shoulder. "But it's hard not to look for someone."

"I know, Ray. Want to hear something? Once we are San Francisco, away from all the homophobes and oppressive parents, I predict that you are going to fall in love. Do you understand? I, Natalie Leona Holbrook, age 18, predict that you, Raymond Manuel Toro-Ortiz, age 18 and some-odd months, are going to fall in love once we get to San Francisco."

Ray suddenly sits up and hugs me tightly. "And _that_ is why I love you, Nattie."

I laugh and pet his 'fro.

"Wait. Nat, what are you going to do with Gerard when we go to college?"

I shrug. "I don't know. It's not like I can take him with me. We'll probably break up and go our separate ways. We're not going out officially, anyway."

"He really likes you, you know. We were talking. I mean, he really does like you. If you lead him on and let him think he can have you for longer and then you dump him it would go over badly."

"Thank you, Dr. Phil." I poke him in-between the eyes. "We've gone on one date. And I'm leaving in about a month to go across the country. Somehow I think this is going to be a pretty casual relationship."

"If you say so." Ray moves me off of his lap and gets up off the couch and offers a non-sequitur. "Want some ice cream?"

I say yes, and we spend the evening in front of the TV, eating chocolate ice cream, laughing at stupid girls clawing each other's eyes out on equally stupid reality show and just enjoying each other's company. We spend the night the same way we have all summer. Neither one of us says much, but I know we're both thinking the same thing: Who knows how many more of these carefree nights we have left?

"Ray?" I ask, half asleep on his shoulder.

"Mm-hm?" He replies, watching a girl pour a jug of hot sake on another girl's head on a show that revolves around a bi-sexual rocker.

"I don't want to grow up."

He looks at me, surprised. "Yeah, I know how you feel. I mean, it seems so fast sometimes. We've been kicked out of our houses, we've gone through relationship after relationship, we're going to college across the country in a month. We're growing older every single day and we can't change that. It's inevitable.

"But, on the other hand, we have a choice. We have to grow older, Natalie, but we never have to grow up."

"I choose the second option." I mumble sleepily, my dish tipping precariously.

"Yeah, hon. Me too." Ray kisses my forehead and pulls a blanket over me. I lean over, put my head on a pillow, and fall asleep next to my best friend, just like I have almost every night of the summer.

**I love this story alot, so please! It makes me feel like I'm not a failure as some writer-type person...so review!!!**

**3, **

**Ms Topaz  
**


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